Walking out today, and the air felt fresh and sharp; twangs of sap from the growth plucked from the oaks, ashes, and chestnuts by Storm Bronagh that passed by a couple days ago. Bronagh may be gone, but she still has straggling gusts chasing at her skirts – making these old trees creak alarmingly, and setting up the jays in the wood.
It’s breezy. Not quite ‘wild’ and not exactly what Britishers might call ‘a good stiff breeze’ but it’s getting there. When I pass by the cul-de-sac of houses, I am met by the thrumming whurr of telephone wires vibrating with the wind.
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It shouldn’t just be a week, and for some* I know that it isn’t. Awareness Weeks and National Days always make me feel edgy and conflicted, as the net floods with messages of support with perfect pictures and memes, and I cant help but wonder what happens afterwards.
But for you, gentle reader, I wanted to say this:
There are people out there who understand. There are people out there who don’t understand, but who will try their best to. They will sit and listen, they will burble easy conversation that isn’t taxing or threatening or judging.
All the other people you don’t have to sweat over. Don’t give them the space in your mind.
But there are those out there who wont care how awkward or difficult or weird or ugly you feel. They will still treat you with respect, they will still like you. They will still stand at your side.
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I was planning to write a (probably) very long ramble on the culture war, but you, Delicious Reader, have been saved from that fate by the words of Dr. Ellis, writing on Morning, Computer [I always want to put an ‘!’ at the end of that, because it reads in my head retrofuture-y, the family Robinson waking up cheery and radium-filled before they realize that they live at the tyranny of machine intelligence. Which is not a reflection on the content, obvs. Anyway…]
Try this, for a minute. Try to describe your experience of how your brain works. Think of a metaphor that works for you. Then describe your experience of the thing that stops it working. Explain your brain to yourself. It’s a good way to surface the problems, and perhaps the ways to solve them. The inside of your own head is really pretty amazing in ways that are unique to you. Even the annoying or “bad” parts. Sit and breathe and watch it go, and then paint a picture of it with words. That’s all we do, here in hermit country. Paint with words. Sit down next to me.
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