- Is this novel:
a). an artful and emotive investigation into why the characters do what they do; or
b). a train wreck.
2. Is this novel:
a). exciting and fun!
b). ohmigod makeitstop, makeitstop…
c). Fun in [X part] but then in [X part] my brain tried to force it’s way through my eyeballs.
3. Is there:
a). Too much drugs and too much swearing.
b). Nowhere near enough drugs and swearing.
4. If you were to describe this book in a simple phrase, would it be:
a). Harry Potter on acid?
b). Three Men & a Baby without the men, and with more drugs?
c). Neverwhere as written by the bastard lovechild of William Burroughs and Charles Bukowski?
d). Harry Potter vs. Three Men & a Baby vs. Neverwhere vs. Trainspotting in a foam party?
Writers aren’t vain, we’re just externalised masochists.