It seems that a lot of my favourite writers have now started posting recipes. In that spirit, you lucky Drekkers will now get the recipe for herojuice.

[nb. There are many herojuices. This is mine. You will probably have your own.]

1. Take one prime banana in the fullness of its life. Chop that sucker up and put it in a blitzer.

2. Add in half a tub of plain organic yoghurt.

3. Sprinkle one generous handful of mixed berries, picked yourself, in the first hour of the day. Or you can use frozen mixed berries. whatever, it’s your body.

4. Blitz until substance turns gloopy. Depending on contents you will now either have Pink Herojuice or Blue Herojuice.

5. ADD SPECIAL HERO INGREDIENTS. 1 Teaspoon of Organic Kelp powder (because all our thyroid glands have a half-life of about 50,000yrs these days). 1 Teaspoon of Organic Spirulina (because you want it to be herojuice, right, not healthjuice). 1 Teaspoon of Organic Turmeric (because, like Mumm-Ra, it will make you live forever).

6. Blitz. You will now have made Yellow Herojuice, or quite possibly Beige Herojuice. Taste. It will taste like drinking curry-flavored grass clippings. Go back and add another generous handful of them berries.

7. Blitz once again.

Congratulations! You now have a superdrink that will mean you are probably invincible. Add a generous dollop of local wildflower honey if that’s your jam, and quaff like a god.

[nb. to make Batjuice, you can add one scoop of your preferred protein powder. You will now be Batman, but smelling more summery]

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